Pheerbeard
Pheerbeard, commonly shortened to simply "Pheer", is an All-American, neckbearded foreground poster measuring in at 6 foot 3.25 inches, 230 pounds on the off-topic forum The TLDR. Let There Be Light Pheers evolution from an internet virgin to an internet alpha is long and convoluted journey but the most likely place to begin is the Fall of 2004, the season in which World of Warcraft was first introduced. While playing his first character, Pheer, like most, had questions and wonderings about the future of WoW and sought answers in its official forum. One day, by chance, he ventured forth into the Off-Topic section of the forums, while going between General Discussion and Warrior Discussion. It was here that a true internet warrior was bred. Birth At first Pheer was your typical 16 year old on the internet at the time - haughty, mature, and vicious. The concept of trolling was entirely foreign to Pheer and he fell for traps that today he can easily detect from 1000 gigameters. Pheer, like all good warriors, was broken and reforged in posting crucibles where he learned from his mistakes. The WoW OT proved to be excellent training for trials of Pheer yet to come. The minute details of his gestational period - posting names, signature posting moves, etc. - are lost to all but the most observant wizards of the internet but the importance of this period of transition cannot be underestimated. Adolescence While Pheer was never officially banned from the WoW OT, he mostly abandoned it for a new home in one of the OT spinoffs - a small forum called TIAC or "Trolls In A Cave" in the year 2006. He enjoyed his stay there free from moderation, where he was first introduced to several key and important posters with the most notable being Pintsized. The TIAC hardened Pheer and prepared him for his next step on his posting track. It was also while there that the TLDR was first introduced to him, through raids and deleting the TIAC forum boards. Although frustrated at the time, Pheer quickly analyzed the situation, acknowledged superiority, and joined the ranks of the TLDR. Late Adolescence Pheerbeards entrance into TLDR culture went smoothly for the most part. Rhok in particular despised Pheers presence but as Pheers persona matured he stopped caring about what his opposition had to say and instead focused on producing quality posts. In a short time, Pheer was intiated as a regular at the premier off-topic spin off, The TLDR. The events of the periods after this are a blur and are best left for internet anthropologists. The Arrival of Fugs, or, Evolutionary Speedwagon The arrival of the advanced posting life form known as Fugs was a tremendous boon to Pheer. Before Fugs arrived, Pheers posting style was similar already to Fugs but much more primitive. His talent had not yet been fully cultivated. With the arrival of Fugs, Pheer advanced constantly in great bounds. His posting evolved in days instead of weeks. Pheer and Fugs, while evolved from the same fundamental posting phylum, maintained slight differences that only complemented each poster and encouraged teamwork. Working in tandum was their greatest strength and their enemies worse nightmare. The arrival of Ensui in this time is also of importance for, although not a striking post in and of himself, he supports the main posting squad with his auxillary tactics. Unmatched Postsmiths The current postings of Pheer are typically well regarded and for those times when he makes poor posts, his reputation as an artisan Postsmith precedes him saving him from humiliation and ridicule. The bond between Fugs and Pheer and Ensui remain as strong as the Dwarven Chains of Goltakug. To see history as it unfolds, visit www.thetldr.com Posting Style His posting style is best defined by the following GIF file of a monster truck: His posting consists almost exclusively of short,nonsensical and badly punctuated sentences with numerous grammatical mistakes, however, this is all part of his style and not evidence of a mental disability. Pheer is also known on The TLDR for his moderately lengthy story posts, in which he takes a fellow forum member and implants them into his own imaginative scenarios. Below is an example: moreks going to die and when he gets to the gate of heaven st peter will approach him with a dump truck of shit and say "morek, each time you denied the existence of the almighty and his heavenly companions, one pound of shit was added to the dump truck. now at this, the end of your life, as punishment you must consume the collected quantity of shit, gathered throughout your lifetime, before entering the kingdom of God." Source, Page 15 Forum Roleplayingkhhjhl Gaming Aside from being an all too regular poster on The TLDR, Pheer is also a moderate gamer, playing many of developer Valves games such as Day of Defeat: Source and Counter-Strike: Source. Recently, he has made an incursion into the MMO genre with Gorkog, a level 35 (at present) Orc Warrior on the PvP server Skullcrusher in the game The World of Warcraft. The classic Team Fortress 2 is also one of his most liked games. The Trinity Pheer is also a member of the Most Holy Trinity along with Fugs and Ensui (pronounced Enswee). During analysis of the Trinity, the posters roles are best broken down into the following: *Pheer is the Muscle *Fugs is the Brain *Ensui is the Acolyte Collectively, the trio regularly honors Chad Warden AKA C Wizzy, Chad Daddi, Big Papi for his role in being ABAP by quoting his most famous saying and reciting large portions of his original video by heart. Relations with Fellow Forum Posters Although Pheer gets along well with everyone on The TLDR, even Redman (see Redpill), he shares a special affinity with the posters Fugs, Noam, Qwee, and Pint. The bonds between these forum posters have been forged through a long history of trial and threatening menace. Pheer has also stated multiple times that posters Morek and NL are of a very high quality and maintains friendly relations with both. Female Posters Pheer has often reported that he views female posters with ambivalence. Only one female poster, Lafonda, has seen improvement, however small, in posting quality. Others such as Mitten, Del, and Jane remain stagnant, as far as posting quality is concerned. Real Life Very little is known of Pheers real life, that is, his life off of the internet. He goes to college in Massachusetts and lives in San Antonio, Texas, the 7th largest city in the United States of America and has a Bull Mastiff for a pet. thumb|300px|left|Here he is, trying to bite a glass door Category:People Category:TLDR Members